History Repeats Itself

History Repeats Itself

I dont know but I really wanted to know why "history repeats itself". For years and years, I thought everything is circular.. and as we move around the circle, same things happen. Then I thought, "wheres the room for progress?"

Dejavu. I always experience dejavu when I was in high school. For several times a week, I find myself saying "parang nagyari na to..!?" Same set up, same people, same instances same things happen every now and then. Could it possibly because I have lived sometime before? I dont believe in reincarnation though, I believe in after life. I became so curious with "history repeats itself". Eventually dejavu vanished.

Not a week ago, a friend of mine called and said "man, lets have a little drink dito sa kila benjie, Im throwing a small party". I was invited to their little reunion. Later I realized that its been six years now since they haven't seen each other, since they graduated from a respected maritime school in Bicol. There we are, while I feel a little awkward, talking bout how's life going. I have learned that these people have been to the most beautiful places in the world being seamen. I was amazed not by who they are now after college but how they present themselves not to mention that they once run and ruled their school publication.

Emman, the one who invited me, was once the editor in chief of their school paper and is now taking a masteral course. We have the same firstname, he is of my own age and were both from bicol. I listen when he talks and I felt like I somehow talk just like him as if I have the same state of mind he has, or at least I was trying to. I look at him and I said "maybe this is who Im gonna be if my father had a little dream for me." Then there was dejavu. I felt like this set up happened already. I share them a story.

Its kind of refreshing to absorb new ideas from these peole. They are men of subtance. Inspite of success their personalities were preserved and they talk in the same basic manner just like it was six years ago. Military tough but sensible. They made me proud Im from bicol.

The feeling that this has happened before is getting convincing. Then the thing I wanted to learn started to resonate. History repeats itself. I tried to think why dejavu suddenly struck me again from nowhere. Then there was an immense flash back. Old pictures, old music, old feelings, old hate.. then it stopped. It stopped at "maybe he is who Im gonna be if my father had a little dream for me" and "wheres the room for progress?". These two things kept on resonating.

Something frightened me. When I was young I have learned that ghost frightens someone and it keeps on coming back because it got a message. I remembered, before dejavu struck me I felt hate.. I know I haven't really freed myself from it yet and I know, I havent really learned from it. I knew there was a message and eventually, it helped me unearth the answer to my question. Our lives are not circular.. ghosts keep on coming back because we haven't got their message yet. History repeats itself because we have not learned from our past yet. If we refuse to learn from our mistakes, we are bound to repeat history.

-eman